STRATEGERY!!!

Ok, so if you're a single working mother reading this, you don't need me to tell you that it's tricky trying to make it all come together. But no worries, I'm here to tell you that you absolutely can navigate the corporate waters, carry a diaper bag and wear stilletto's all at the same time if that's what you want! Rather than tell you what to do, however, I think my little nugget of strategery would be more along the lines of what not to do.
Let's get one thing straight. Once you have a baby, there will be a period of time where you lose your fucking mind. The problem is, there's no telling how long that lasts, and when it spills over into work after your maternity leave it is awesome, let me tell you. As you can see from the last post, I was still rather, uh, post-partem. First order of business: GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR. If I had gone to my doctor earlier it's possible of would have snapped out of my funk, which was affecting my work life. I was extremely irritable, plus really resentful of having to be the one to work, so it all added up to the rant below. NOT a good get-ahead strategy!
Once I had been back to work for a few years after giving birth, I learned that it's really important to talk to your boss about what you can do, and what your limitations are. This holds true if you're a single mom in a job or looking for a new job. Here's some advice that was passed along to me: make sure you give something in return for each "get". For instance, if you want flex time, or job sharing, make sure to emphasize times when you may be able to put in a little extra. I happen to be very lucky and have a terrific parenting partner in my ex husband, so we were able to create a parenting plan that would give me a chance to stay late at work or come in early a few days a week. So if I ever do need to miss a meeting, I've already created a great work ethic and it's not a problem.
Can you sense the difference in power here? I was angry and resentful and kind of felt like a victim, and it showed at work. Of course I wouldn't get any more responsibility! But once I learned to come armed with a plan, and present a solution that was thoughtful and delivered with confidence, it changed my manager's perception of me. I think the most important part of this lesson for me was to become empowered with a self-defined solution. Considering you never know when you're going to work with spit up on your shirt, or a binkie in your pocket, you might as well control some part of your destiny!